Why diamonds, not flowers, are a girl's best friend

This is why I don't like flowers. They die. Uh, Naomi, you say, why don't you just throw them away? Yes, but that's one more thing I have to do, one more item to clean. I don't clean enough as it is, and I don't need another dirty item in my house to make me fill guilty. Yes, flowers are lovely, but really, I have enough plant life out my window to look at. I don't need to bring it indoors and give myself something esle to maintain. Truth be told, I'm not that wild about diamonds either. How about chocolate, good wine, dinner, and a massage? Now that's my idea of a best friend!